My husband and i and our lack of life?

"Could have, should have, would have". The fact that you love him still as much as he loves you, shouldn't "block to initiate whatever" neither of you. Sometimes during marriage, somewhere along the way, we start "uming" instead of "asking and actually doing the move". 17 years, is a long time and I think that where there is a will there is a way ! Start working again on "rekindling your relationship with him" but whatever you do, talking to him is crucial ! Good luck !