Letting the idea of love go for good?

hello i am a 33 yr old single, educated female with no kids..i suffer from depression, i smoke, and other pitiful stuff that would be bersome to hear about. i am here because i just recently broke up withh a guy that i really liked and was hoping that my prayers had finally been answered for the Lord to send me a mate, i guess u can call it a little bit desparate. But because i didnt tell him that i smoked, he broke up with me. I am soooooooooooo over trying to seek love, its no use. i had always dreamed of finding the one, but that is all about to end. i cant deal with the constant heartache and worsening depression that follows..so i give up..dont want it no more..and its probably for the best. i come with a lot of flaws and after 3 breakups in less than 2 yrs its time to throw up the white flag and give up....i have always been better at being friends with the opposite anyways...and plus being envious of those around me makes it no better...well i am done thanks to those who read this